22/09/2011

Dear Diary,

I'm so sorry but I can only begin with this. Haizzzz... What am I suppose to do now? Does the God just gave me the hint that Ming and I do not have fate to be together? Haizzzz... Today he just told me he's coming back Malaysia on the Saturday and I'm going back tomorrow; today is Thursday by the way. What am I suppose to do now? What am I suppose to do!!!!!! I really don't know what is going on betwen us. Maybe I'm the only one who think too much. Maybe this is just a petty matter and I'm acting as if it is so big.

Dear Diary, what am I suppose to do? I really wanted to see him. I was thinking just now, just let me meet him for a day will be enough, PLEASE and now, no chance at all. I'm going back UK tmorrow and he's coming back Malaysia the day after me. Why on Earth will this kind of thing happens to me? WHY??? WHY WHY??? All I can ask now is WHY!!!!

Why God, WHY!!!! Haiz.. Now I wish he can change his flight and come back today so I can see him tonight or tomorrow. Just one more time. PLEASE... :'(

Signed off,

My Voice

05/09/2011

Dear Diary,

Just now Yi Ming just went online after weeks and unfortunately for me, I didn't make the move to chat with him and he went offline after that. Now it makes me wonder is it that he went offline because he saw me online? I'm feeling down right now, but also makes me want to see him and hug him so tight that I can feel his heart beat. Whenever I see his name, so many different feelings come to me. Woo Yi Ming. I miss him so so much. I wonder what is he up to right now. I really do miss him.

04/09/2011

Dear Diary,

Yesterday I went to Yi Ming's new house in Damansara Height and somehow it makes me feel down and I tend to think of him again. Now I am suffering and seriously my heart is in his hand. Why Diary? Why me? I can't figure him out and this makes me feel helpless. I don't know what to do. Should I give up this hope or should I keep holding on? This is not about the money his family has, but it was him I care the most. I have feelings for him but does he have the same way I felt for him? I like him. I love him. Why can't I met someone like him but abit normal than him? God, are you testing how long can I take this pressure? Please don't! I'm suffering right now. All I can say now is "we could have had it all"

This song express my current feeling. Rolling in the deep by Adele. The scars of your love, leave me breathless...

I love this part the most as it totally express out what I feel about him now:

The scars of your love remind me of us,

They keep mw thinking that we almost had it all.

The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,

I can't help feeling.